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About Literature / Hobbyist TylerGermany Groups :iconpoetryparadise: PoetryParadise
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I am cold alone my emotions are fake even when they seem real to me I do not know how to love and I cannot react in the way I need to
I see you yelling at me to do things get things done trust me I want to get them done but when I tell myself to do them I end up doing something else
It is hard to live like this with everyone getting angry at me everyone expected great things from me but I was set up for failure my social skills are a mess when I get nervous I just ramble on
I want people to understand me and love me for who I am but in the end I push everyone away
You hid me because you were embarrassed by me you kept me home while went out because if I came along we would end up arguing because I wanted to go home because I was bored or I would make a fool out of myself and that is how I grew up so now whenever you want me to come with you my default answer is no because I know I would screw things up like before
I was the accident child I should have never been born it was a one night stand when my father got back from training he even accused you of cheating even though you only had sex with him if it was not for modern medicine I would have been death I would have died before I was ever born
I look like him my father and every day I am a constant reminder of the man that was stolen from you and the anger and hatred for that woman and man that broke your heart was taken out on me even my sister took her emotions out on me because of my uncanny family resemblance to my father and I hated every moment of it every day
I want to tell you how much pain I have inside that poisons my very being the acid corroding my soul to stop the burning of my heart I had to freeze it making it a heart of ice do you think I get pleasure from seeing you angry with me the way you threaten to throw me out like garbage is like rubbing salt in my never healing wounds they say time can heal but it has been ten fucking years and I have only gotten worse I say I am fine and happy but you cannot even see that I am so close to shattering how can you not know that your own son sees your pain and suffering and feels it too I have felt so many negative emotions over the past ten years that I can no longer truly have happiness and any joy I have now is an imitation of what I can no longer feel even what appears to be tears of joy are only tears of pain
I came out to as gay and the look on your face devastated me and that only strained our relationship even further you tell me to be myself but how can I when you are reluctant to accept me for who I am as your son if anything I want you to tell me how you truly feel about me tell me my flaws and that you love me no matter what I want you to hold me tight and tell me everything is going to be all right I want you to be my mom again and not this cold woman I see before me because I miss my mom and I love her.
This was really hard for me to write but I really needed to get this off my chest. This poem is extremely personal.
Stone Stairway by NomNom2010
Stone Stairway
A stone stairway that leads up to upper levels of the fort that I stayed at in Sweden.
Sunset Chimes by NomNom2010
Sunset Chimes
So my mom and I moved out of Germany and now are in Oklahoma and we're out in the country so it's a photographic opportunity.
Hey Zombieteen96 look at this.
  • Mood: Content
  • Listening to: The church bells ringing.
  • Reading: My Journal
  • Watching: Beelzebub Episode 4
  • Playing: Pokemon Y
  • Eating: Chocolate
  • Drinking: Saliva

Journal History


NomNom2010's Profile Picture
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
I'm the type of person who confronts life with art, passion, and hope.

Likes: All forms of art, nature, mythology, and video games.
Dislikes: Politics and politicians, bees, spiders, and growing pains.
Fears: Bees, spiders, and losing my family.
If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go and why? Home, because that is where I belong.
Most embarrassing moment when you were little? Going to Preschool in Scooby-Doo boxers that I thought were shorts. (Hey they were big!)
Who do you hate and love the most in your family and why? My sister, she's my sister and she always stands up for me.
Share one secret that you never told anyone: Sometimes I'd borrow a book from a teacher and forget to give it back.
Favorite Pokemon: Torchic!!!
Which of your poems is your favorite? My Revolution…
Which of your pictures is your favorite? Opening…
Favorite season of the year and why? Winter b/c of Christmas, New Years, and snow!
Favorite holiday and why? Halloween, b/c you can scare little kids and get away with it.
Favorite animal? Platypus (It's like a bird/mammal/reptile or amphibian hybrid)
What animal do you dislike? Humans (we destroy ourselves, like robots with a self-destruct button)
Favorite Rollarcoaster ride? The Great White in Sea World, San Antonio, TX!
Favorite pet? Jakob (you say it like Jacob) my puppy who is a Kerrin Terrier mix.
Least favorite pet? Zoe our Jack Russel mix who is a diva times 10!
Superpower? The ability to create anything with my mind, so I can create an elixir that will give me all the other superpowers! Mwa ha ha ha!

Current Residence: Germany (moved here in August so I speak mainly English)
deviantWEAR sizing preference: Men's Medium
Print preference: IDK
Favorite genre of music: Cristian and Country (only today's country)
Favorite photographer: None so far.
Favorite style of art: Life, Nature, Photography, and Poetry
Operating System: What do you mean?
MP3 player of choice: Don't care.
Shell of choice: Not a fan of shells.
Wallpaper of choice: None.
Skin of choice: None.
Favorite cartoon character: Jerry from Tom and Jerry
Personal Quote: Art is my skeleton key.

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Add a Comment:
KhalilCorso Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2015
Woah! Thanks for all the faves and the watch. You're too kind :)
Enjoy your weekend!
drakator Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2015
Thanks for the fave.
NomNom2010 Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Pheagle-Adler Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2015
SevenSeasSailor Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2015
Hey, mate, thanks for the fave :-)
NomNom2010 Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
no prob
drakator Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2015
thanks for the faves
NomNom2010 Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Pheagle-Adler Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2015
NomNom2010 Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Add a Comment: